Divorce Types

So, you've come to a crossroads in life and decided to divorce. It's a significant life decision, no doubt.

Divorce affects every part of your life - emotional, financial, social, and even physical health. Before taking this step, it's important to have knowledge of all available divorce options. The more you know, the better decisions you can make for your family's future. I've seen couples rush into decisions about how they’ll divorce without understanding the implications, only to regret it later.

Through this divorce guide, my goal is to inform you about the types of divorces that prioritize your family's well-being during this stressful event in your life.

Remember, every divorce is unique. What worked for someone else might not work for you. That's why we're going to break down all divorce options in Illinois. Ready to get started?

1. Pre-Divorce Preparations
2. Factors Influencing the Divorce Process
3. Questions to Ask Yourself Before Choosing a Divorce Path
4. What Types of Divorces Are There?
5. Frequently Asked Questions

TL;DR - Conclusion & Way Forward: Which is the best divorce option for your situation?

In divorce, there are factors that can speed up or slow down your divorce. This is important - it can mean the difference between wrapping things up in a few months or dragging on your divorce for years.

Lengthening Factors

• Residency Requirements and Separation / Waiting Periods: Each state has its own rules for these factors. However, in Illinois, there are various exemptions allowed, enabling the divorce mediators to complete the process smoothly and quickly.
• Fault vs. No-Fault Grounds: If you're filing for divorce based on fault (e.g., adultery, abuse) in states where this is allowed, it can take longer as it requires evidence and court appearances - this takes time and can get messy. No-fault divorces, where no one is "blamed," are usually faster.
• Complex Assets and Debts: Dividing properties, businesses, retirement accounts, or any jointly held assets can complicate things. The more there is to divide, the longer the negotiations to reach a settlement. Both spouses also need to gain comfort that they can both support themselves individually post-divorce, which often times require financial analysis.
• High-Conflict Relationships: If emotions are running high or there's a lot of animosity between spouses, delays are observed. Constant disagreements make the process slower and more emotionally draining. A compromise is your best friend in divorce.
• Pregnancy or Health Issues: In some cases, health issues or pregnancy can also influence the timing or the complexity of the divorce proceedings.

Shortening Factors - These are the good ones speeding things up:

• Prenuptial/Postnuptial Agreements: If you have a prenup or postnup it simplifies asset division. Everything's already laid out; you just need to follow the plan. These agreements significantly streamline the process by laying out how assets will be divided.
• Cooperation / Joint Application: If you and your spouse are willing to work together, things can move quickly. In fact, use of alternative dispute resolution methods like mediation is the fastest route to divorce, helping you avoid court back-and-forth of litigation and save time, money, and stress.

Remember, the goal is to get a fair settlement, not just a quick one. If you wish to avoid a long, drawn-out litigated process, it’s advisable to work with a reliable professional mediator that can smooth your divorce. Also, don’t hire a lawyer who litigates if you want a more amicable process.

There are various ways to get a divorce. Being a divorce mediator, I've seen it all, and I'll share with you what to expect from each path.

1. DIY Divorce

This is the cheapest way to get a divorce and it’s exactly what it sounds like - you handle everything yourself. No lawyers, no mediators. This is also known as "pro se divorce."

It works best when:

• You've got a simple, uncontested divorce
• No kids, no complex assets, short marriages
• You and your current spouse agree on everything

Legal Basis:

• You’ll need to file the proper documents in court, follow state guidelines, and attend required hearings.

Pros:

• Cost-effective: You'll save on legal fees.
• Faster: Without lawyers, the process can move quicker.
• Control: You and your current spouse make all decisions.

Cons:

• Risk of mistakes: Legal errors can be costly and hard to undo. For example, procedural mistakes, including errors in content and form, such as naming the wrong person as an agent for receiving answers, failing to direct the defendant to answer within the required timeframe, failing to respond to a summary judgment motion, or improperly signing documents.
• Lack of legal expertise: You might miss out on important rights or benefits, especially with financial and custody issues.
• Time-consuming: Researching and handling paperwork takes significant effort.

2. Mediated Divorce

Mediation is the fastest and easiest way to get a divorce. A neutral third party, the divorce mediator, helps the couple reach agreements on all aspects of their divorce.

Role of the Mediator:

• Facilitate discussion
• Provide information
• Help you find common ground

Suitability:

• Great for couples who can talk things through to avoid court but need help reaching agreements or resolving specifics like finances or parenting plans.

Benefits:

• Peaceful and confidential process.
• Quickest way to get a divorce, faster than court proceedings.
• Costs significantly less than litigation.
• Promotes communication and cooperation, and creates a foundation for healthy co-parenting.
• More control over outcomes.

Limitations:

• Requires both parties to cooperate.
• May not work for high-conflict situations.

3. Collaborative Divorce

This involves a team approach. You each have a collaborative lawyer, and everyone agrees to work together to reach a settlement without going to court.

Benefits:

• Sign an agreement not to go to court.
• Open information sharing.
• Focuses on problem-solving.
• Can involve other professionals (financial advisors, child specialists).
• Often faster and less expensive than litigation but significantly more expensive than mediation.

Challenges:

• More expensive than mediated divorce.
• Falls apart if you can't reach an agreement.
• Costly due to involvement of multiple professionals.
• Requires full transparency and cooperation.

4. Contested (Litigated) Divorce

This is the traditional court battle. You each have a lawyer, and the court makes the final decisions for you. This should be the last option; unfortunately, for many, it becomes the first option because they’re unaware of the existence of healthier options.

The process:

• File petition
• Discovery (gathering evidence)
• Negotiations
• Trial (if you can't settle)

What to expect: 

• Multiple court appearances.
• Long process (months to years)
• High costs (average of $17,700 per person, according to Martindale-Nolo research)
• Emotional toll (high stress, anger, anxiety)

Advantages:

• Necessary for high conflict and abusive situations.
• Protects rights when one party is uncooperative.
• A court can order financial disclosures.

Disadvantages:

• Most expensive option.
• Can be lengthy, sometimes taking years.
• Adversarial nature creates conflict.
• Public record of proceedings.
• You lose control over the outcome.
• Terrible negative outcomes for your children.

According to the American Bar Association's book "Introduction to Separation Agreements," "periodic surveys of Divorce Litigation subscribers reveal that more than 75% of all divorce actions are settled out of court." This is a conservative estimate; in reality, the figure is closer to 95% because trials are extremely expensive, cause delays, and are unpredictable.

Remember, you're not locked into one path. You might start with mediation and move to litigation if it doesn't work out. The key is to choose the approach that best fits your situation and goals.

There's no one-size-fits-all best way to get divorced. What worked for your friend or your relative might not be the best path for you. Your divorce is as unique as your marriage was.

Are you and your current spouse on speaking terms? Can you work together for the kids? How complex are your finances? What are your priorities - speed, cost, privacy? These factors should guide your choice.

Remember the stats we talked about earlier:

• Most DIY divorces have at least one procedural error
• 76% of women and 62% of men said mediation helped them get along better and benefited their children
• 95% of divorces settle before trial

If you can cooperate, consider mediation. If things are complex, maybe collaborative divorce is the way to go. If it's high-conflict, litigation might be unavoidable.

Remember, the goal isn't to "win" the divorce - it's to get through it as smoothly as possible and set yourself up for a better future.

Divorce is tough, no sugarcoating it. But you don't have to go through it alone. Lean on your support network. Seek professional help - whether that's a mediator, counselor, or lawyer - to guide you through the legal and emotional aspects.

Way Forward: Considering divorce or need guidance on your next steps?

I'm here to help you find the best path for you and your family. You can always call me with any questions.

I offer divorce mediation services and can help you with advice on next steps for your specific situation if you're unsure.

Schedule a free consultation at (224) 544-9990 to discuss your specific situation.

We serve clients in Chicago and the surrounding areas, including Lake Forest, Mundelein, Libertyville, Grayslake, Vernon Hills, Lake Zurich, Schaumburg, Arlington Heights, and Crystal Lake.

Lastly, keep in mind that while divorce marks the end of a marriage, it's also the beginning of a new chapter in your life. With the right approach and support, you can navigate this process and come out stronger on the other side.